Then, What's Next?

Good evening. . .
Just say hello to everybody who always read (may be if there are some people) my random blog, really tired and confused of these
In a view, it make me feel have 'a sun' in a rainy day, yeah a high expectation but not really high, because i know it hard to happen, then, am i sad? may be yes, may be no, whatever i want in other time
In another view, it make me like 'dark cloud' in a cloudy day, yeaah, you know what will happen next time? ohh no, what will happen in many hours later right? a rainy day and so calmy ( i really like rain), yeah something that i have most certainly of these, really understand and know what happen in the next time, then, am i feel no expectation of these? and again, may be yes, may be no, whatever i want in other time too
Really really random right now, sick of these and i don't know what i want now, really want to cry but i cant, it is recognizably